I have been giving some hard thought to why I am so very unhappy the past few years. I think I finally figured it out. I was an over-achiever in high school and did very well in university. I keep succeeding and now what? I am good at my job. But it isn't what I want so deep down I feel like it is really a failure. I feel like a failure. I think that is why I set up this blog, this project, this goal. Something that I can achieve and feel proud. I don't know why but I very much associate one's identity with one's job. I used to work retail and then call centres. Both defined me as a failure in my mind, well now, that I have discovered this insight. I was embarrassed by theses jobs. Whenever I ran in to people I hadn't seen in a while, I use to give excuses. “I'm just doing this as a favour.” .... “until my jewellery making business takes off.”....“until ......” But that was all talk. I did finally get off my butt and got a better job but .... Now I think my job says I've given up, given up my dreams. So I am kick starting my dreams of running my own business and being my own boss. (See The Plan, a previous post.) Yup, having my own business seems to be the only solution. I think now that I know what my problem is I will be able to better deal with it.
Now
just for fun, Senor Zoidbergo!
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